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Hi guys, Brad Browning here with another Mend the Marriage video. Today I’m going to cover 7 tips that will help save your marriage, even if there’s already been talk of a divorce.
Now, before we get started I’d like to introduce myself in case this is the first time you’ve come across one of my YouTube videos. As mentioned, my name is Brad Browning and I’m a relationship coach and marriage expert. I’m also known for my best selling Mend the Marriage program, which teaches folks like you how to rebuild your relationship with your spouse, and ideally save your marriage.
After watching this video, I encourage you to leave any comments or questions you may have in the section below. I always try my best to respond to all comments, so please go ahead and share your feedback.
OK, let’s get started. You know the saying, “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes happily ever after”? End of story, right? Not quite… While it's true that couples relax a bit after they’ve said their vows and tied the knot, the reality is that they may also find themselves puzzled if their fairytale starts slipping away.
Many people think that marriage is about marrying the right person, so when things start to go wrong they begin to worry that they’ve accidentally married the wrong person. Although you do want to marry someone you’re compatible with, marriage has a lot less to do with marrying the right person than it has to do with doing the right things with the person you married. In other words, relationships are a constant work in progress. If your marriage seems to be rocky, try these tips to restore the happy connection that made you say "I do" in the first place.
A common assumption is that it takes both partners to save their marriage. This seems reasonable, but it just isn’t true. Unless your spouse has truly and completely given up on the relationship, it is possible for you to make sufficient changes to save the marriage. Perhaps not immediately, but over time it’s inevitable that the unhappy partner will notice the positive change in your behaviour and will respond to it.
Whether you know it or not, you and your spouse communicate in a revolving stimulus, a response pattern if you will. This means that when you do or say something, the stimulus and your partner reacts, and then you react to their reaction, and so on. The same thing occurs when your partner says or does something… the two of you have built up a pattern of habitual actions and reactions over time.
Since a couple is comprised of two individuals, a change in the behaviour of one person will have an impact on the other, and therefore the entire relationship. When the stimulus changes, there will be a new, different response. That new response will elicit another new and different response. If this happens enough, a new pattern of behaviours will emerge. Assuming the new actions and reactions are positive, the relationship takes a positive turn.
For example, if you have developed a habit of being disrespectful towards your spouse, she will have developed some kind of reaction or coping mechanism. If you stop disrespectful behaviour, she won’t need to use her coping mechanism, and her reaction to you will chance.
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