8 Subtle Signs Your Marriage is Falling Apart

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— 8 Subtle Signs Your Marriage is Falling Apart

Hey YouTube, Brad Browning here. I’m a relationship coach from western Canada and today I’m going to share with you some subtle signs that your marriage is falling apart.

The thing is, when problems start to creep into a marriage, they’re not always obvious. Though most people think of screaming matches or divorce threats, there are actually many more subtle signs to be weary of.

Before I go ahead and share with you the top eight things to look for, I’d like to take a moment to tell you about a helpful online quiz that will let you know your odds for saving your marriage, and will also give you advice for what you should do next. To take the quiz go to www.marriageguy.com/quiz.

Now, let’s get started.

1. Your focus has switched from “us” to “I”

When you and your spouse first got together you were probably in the “us” mindset. You made plans together and worked around one another’s schedules.

While it’s normal for the “honeymoon” stage to end and for spouses to slip into their own personal routines, if your collective mindset has switched from “us” to “I” then it’s a sure sign that your marriage has some underlying issues.

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52 thoughts on “8 Subtle Signs Your Marriage is Falling Apart

    1. Chances are you are then. If she wanted you back she would show it to you clearly, she is not embarrassed or ashamed of you, she already knows you a good deal, chances are you are being played and used for validation. Move on, If she sees or thinks that you are dating other girls she will probably want to come back.

    2. Unless your ex recommits to you, then you’re being friendzoned. However, this also depends on which phase you’re in. For example, if you’ve recently reconnected, don’t expect your ex to warm up easily. Getting an ex back is a process. Are you sure you’re not trying to rush it? Setting a deadline is a good way to fail when it comes to exes, so I highly discourage it.What steps have you taken to get your ex back? It’s time to re-assess those and see what’s working versus what’s not working. Good luck!

    1. Thanks, man! If you haven’t already, please like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won’t miss any of my upcoming videos. I’d really appreciate it! 🙂

  1. Hey brad me and my fiancé were together for a little over 5 years and my fiancé broke up with me a week ago because I lied to her for a year about losing my job. She found out when she came over and my parents told her. We have a 2 year old little boy together and right now she wants to take me to court for child support and is saying she wants nothing to do with me and wants me out of her life. But she still goes on my facebook because she knows the password and she looks at all my unread messages and notifications. Im confused and I don’t know what to do any advice?

    1. Thanks brad video was very helpful. Actually i engaged in the no contact for about 5 days then she text me last night of i could meet her to give her stuff back and get mine i said okay we met up exchanged stuff and she told me she still loves me and misses me but is very hurt that I lied to her. I apologized and said I will never hold anything back again and will consult with you before making any big decisions. Before we went our separate ways we hugged and she whispered in my ear that she wanted to hookup. I said are you sure we don’t have to do this she said yes like right now so I took her back to my place and yeah lol everything was cool smooth after she kept KIssing me telling she loved me but she need a week to decide if she wants me back I said ok and took her back to her car now I’m nervous and don’t know what to expect now.

  2. I have a question that isn’t regarding this video but I’m wondering what to do and what it means if your ex that your trying to get back unfriends you from social media?

    1. It’s most likely just your ex’s way of coping. Anyway social media should be the least of your concerns. Focus on all three phases and, in time, as you learn to rebuild that attraction and re-attract this ex back to your life.. Here are the basics of all three phases to getting an ex back: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeGNPBdpnsI  and social-media wise, here (but then again, don’t let it become your sole focus) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1GpR5MApQk Good luck!

  3. Hey brand I have a question I kinda cut my 30 day nc by two weeks and now my ex is dateing Someone new and she barely talks to me she’s awakened when she does should I disappear again? And Idk if it’s a rebound we’re only 16 and she’s looking at the new guy how she used to look at me

    1. Your ex is likely on a rebound. Whatever the case may be, act responsibly yet try not to take things too seriously now since you may be in a period of growth and lots of changes,including preferences in attitude, personality, etc. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!

  4. I never notice that you have a wedding ring 🙂 i wish i watched this video before my marriage fell apart … things may have been different …

    1. Don’t be so hard on yourself… Things aren’t likely over yet, especially if you’ve been through a LOT together. Take this quiz to gauge your chances: http://www.marriageguy.com/quiz Anyway has there been a mention of divorce or not? When did all the trouble started and what has caused it? This may help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU0yhd3ADXU but it’s really a bit challenging for me to know where to give you a headstart, knowing only so little of the situation…Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching

  5. Hi Brad! This is messy but we had about 3 years on/off relationship. Now the girl said that something just “clicked” and she don’t love me anymore that much, just want to be friends anymore. I’m very sure that she wanted to get over with me because she was afraid of getting hurt due to this on/off situation. But I’m 100% sure that I want to be with her (not on/off anymore!!!). I just said that too late thats why I’m so angry at myself. What should I do now to get her back? I really like and respect you, thanks!

    1. Hey Thomas! Read this free article I wrote about the dynamic you have which, I agree, must end: http://bit.ly/1HjcagC I suggest to employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. Instead of obsessing about the breakup, not knowing what to do, you could stay busy instead by reading my Ex Factor Guide, which covers every possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Check it out atwww.breakupbrad.com Good luck!

    1. You can reach me through my website at www.breakupbrad.com Please do understand though, that I go by in the order that I receive these (just like here on Youtube) and that coaching clients take first priority. Sign up for my email coaching program instead if you think your situation is urgent so I can address it as soon as possible, all right? Take care!

  6. my ex said she feels awkward talking to me on text what does this mean and I applied no contact rule also .. help me Brad

    1. but she said I had feelings for you I never loved you and now it doesn’t effect me if I message her or not and she also said I didn’t has any feelings for me

    1. That would be a BAD idea. You ought to let him really miss you. Employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, at www.breakupbrad.com

  7. i purchased the exfactor program but then i found you have a marriage program. i didnt know. can i transfer prgrams? i am currently separated abt 3 weeks now. i need help but i need the correct help. what can i do?

  8. Hey Brad,I am now in “No Contact” phase
    Should I post in my snapchat story , that I’m being with friends, being very active, participating in the events, taking trips ant all that stuff. Just to let her know that I’m busy and I acting happy without her. Should I do it ?
    P.s Thanks for helpful videos, best of luck !

    1. Yes, as long as you’re genuinely happy and not going out of your way to display how “happy” you are. Anyway social media should be the least of your concerns. Focus on all three phases and in time, as you learn to rebuild that attraction and re-attract this ex back to your life.. Here are the basics of all three phases to getting an ex back: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeGNPBdpnsI  and social-media wise, here (but then again, don’t let it become your sole focus) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1GpR5MApQk Good luck!

  9. I didn’t speak with my gf almost for a month and during that time, she messaged and called me, but i ignored her. then, i called her by video call for 5 minutes and she was very happy, later we made a second call where she started crying by saying me that she loves me and begged to not leave her. I said her that i love her too. it is second week as i speak still rarely, how should i go on now?

    1. Begged for you not to leave her? That’s odd, considering how she’s initiated the breakup. Did she ask to get back together, then?

    2. she promised to come to my country, but she is rejecting to do it before NO CONTACT time and AGAIN now, but she has already got visa to my country. -she cheated me by saying that she is signle but now it is clear that she has husband and even baby, – and she hided all the things. SHE SAID THAT SHE WANTS TO BE WITH (ME-SECRETLY) AND WITH HER HUSBAND. -problem is that i am afraid that she cheats me.

    3. And now, yesterday we again fighted and she said that she wants to leave me by saying me don’t speak about love any more. – any ways for me to solve the issue? -i love her even if she has husband, and if she didnt love me, then she would not apply for visa I things. but, she finds a lot of excuses like money,time, husband… to not come to me.

    4. and before she told me that she will leave her husband, but now she says that she cant do it because he is good to her.

  10. Hi Brad, Your video has given me some ideas and let me tell you that mine was a “love” marriage nd now it’s falling apart may be.. We have fights over lil issues every single day and at the end He comes and say Sorry to me, that has been an usual routine now. Im soo fed up with this. He says he loves me but again the next moment we plunge deep into a fight. I cant take this anymore… Im sick of it. Everyday We are fighting evn at the drop of the hat. Please suggest me something. Im so clueless…

    1. Really sorry to hear that. Well you BOTH ought to cool your heads first before dealing with each other. Take separate vacations maybe? That should be your long term goal. The short term goal, however is to pick your battles wisely. This vid is for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ8VMOCidWo&t=151s Anyway this is also why I’ve released a second book called Mend the Marriage. Check it out at  http://www.marriageguy.com  as everything is on there, from how to communicate more effectively, down to how to handle the kids, monitor your progress through worksheets and stuff. Take care!

  11. Almost every man I’ve ever seen that has had a successful marriage has had one thing in common. They all sounded like a psychiatrist.

    1. Brad Browning A man will do what he’s gotta do, nobody can blame him for that. The hope for many of us however, is that we can keep our self respect in the process.

  12. My marriage checks everything on that list. Why am I still married then? Because I cannot financially leave. I just avoid him to keep my sanity. I am much happier when I am not thinking about him.

    1. Well, you can reach me via the contact info on my website at www.breakupbrad.com or send me a message via my Facebook fan page: https://www.facebook.com/bbrowning/ Please do understand though, that I go by in the order that I receive these (just like here on Youtube) and that coaching clients take first priority. Sign up for my email coaching program instead if you think your situation is urgent so I can address it as soon as possible, all right? Take care!

  13. Brad, my marriage ticks 6 of these boxes. I am pretty sure he’s got undiagnosed Aspergers but it’s been so hard living with someone who has tantrums, anger management issues and is obsessed with his phone and addiction to clash of clans. He blames me for everything and I think that he resents me. I feel so unloved and drained because of his unmet expectations of me (ie I don’t dote on him like I used to before our children were born).

    1. Yes,I can imagine. Sorry you’re going through this, Paula. Encourage him to seek treatment, that’s the most loving thing you can do because this may be beyond you both so you definitely need to get all the help you can get. All right? Take care!

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