How to Battle Complacency & Boredom In Your Marriage (Spice Up Your Marriage Now!)

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— How to Battle Complacency & Boredom In Your Marriage

You and your spouse have been together for quite a while now. You’re happily married and in love, but there’s one problem: You’re bored and feeling complacent. You may not know how these feeling started or where they came from, but it’s likely you’re feeling this way because you’re too content with your marriage. Fear not, there is a way to overcome these feelings and reignite the spark you and spouse once shared. I’ll tell you how.

As a relationship coach and marriage expert, I hear about this problem all the time – usually it’s a case of couples relaxing after the honeymoon ends. While there’s nothing wrong with feeling comfortable around your spouse, feelings of complacency and boredom do arise if there isn’t enough excitement, discovery, challenge, or motivation in your marriage. That’s why it’s so important to keep things interesting. My name is Brad Browning, I’m the author of the best-selling Mend the Marriage program, and today I’m going to share with you eight ways to battle feelings of boredom and marital complacency.

Let’s jump right into it.

Number 1: You Get What You Give

If you want excitement in your relationship, you need to be exciting. The best way to do this is by telling your spouse how you feel, and make a pact to address the problem together. If you’ve already tried this and nothing has changed, then you may need to make some changes on your own.

Start by breaking some of your habits. For example, if you’re used to coming home, throwing on your favorite sweat pants, and eating dinner in front of the TV, then make a conscious effort to stop doing it. Instead, look your best and have dinner together at the table. Removing the TV from your meal will make space for conversation and the chance to spend some quality time together.

Try to treat every night like date night in some way. You don’t have to go all out, but understand that putting an effort into wooing your spouse can make things feel like they did when you were still courting one another.

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26 thoughts on “How to Battle Complacency & Boredom In Your Marriage (Spice Up Your Marriage Now!)

  1. Hello brad, my ex girlfriend and i dated for a almost 4 years (would’ve been 4 years in january). We met in freshman year of high school and we have a lot of history together. we got together sophomore year of high school and ever since then it has been amazing. We developed deep love together and at many points talked about the future, marriage, and even having children. Just about 2 days ago, she broke up with me. Just 3 or so days before the break up she decided to take a break from each other for a while. During that break she said that it was meant for her to see if she missed me at all during the time apart and she said she didn’t. she said that when she hears my name she is indifferent. Essentially she fell out of love with me and started liking this new guy she met at her work. He even kissed her, she let him, and even liked it. This happened multiple times apparently. She said that for the past few months, she’s been feeling like the relationship was more of an obligation, a chore, and she always felt she needed to pick me up when i was down. and apparently i didn’t really do the same for her. the relationship just became to stressful for her to handle and she said that she couldn’t truly be herself around me, my family, or my friends. thats why she has taken a liking to this new guy because she can be herself around him. she tells me she still loves but just not being with me. she doesn’t love the relationship anymore and its toxic. Of course like most guys do, i begged and pleaded for her to take me back but she said she’s just not IN love with me anymore. She loves me as a person only. However she did say that she sees a future with me, just not now. She told me she needed time and she needed to figure out herself and discover her happiness. I’ve been watching your youtube videos out of desperation and have found them to be very helpful. I’ve already initiated “No Contact” phase today but its already proving difficult. i took your quiz to see what my chances were and your quiz gave me a 73%. I’m just worried my chances are slim even though i thought they would be ok. i even tried purchasing your guide ebook but your website would not authorize it. i thought it was a problem on my side with my account or debit card, but the bank said it has to be the website. could you help and maybe look into this? and maybe provide any tips in regards to my situation? thank you

    1. +kdumpling Hey man, sorry to hear that. Her justifying why she cheated doesn’t change the fact that she had indeed cheated. Be sure to keep this in mind and don’t be blinded by your feelings, okay? I’m not saying your situation is hopeless, just that you ought to take everything into account, all right? It’s easy to discount what someone has done simply because you’re head over heels — that’s a recipe for disaster. I suggest to still cut off contact to really think about this and not let your feelings cloud your judgment as much as possible. Disappearing from her radar will also make her miss you, so be sure to stick to the “no contact” rule. As for my Ex Factor Guide, it uses Clickbank and Paypal and they do have certain restrictions depending on which country you’re purchasing from; unfortunately I don’t have control over this. If there are no restrictions, then try using another browser for it because most of the time, the problem is you just need to update something or use another browser altogether. Thanks for understanding!

    1. +Hanedi Ben Achour Love who? Your new boyfriend or your ex? It depends. Have you completely moved on and are you sure you don’t want him back?If so, then yes, it’s okay. Otherwise, try to be more subtle and DON’T go out of your way to report things to your ex, okay? It’s like you’re rubbing it in and that would surely hurt his ego.:-) You may let him know about the new boyfriend if you really have to, but try to omit the second part. Good luck!

  2. Interesting video. So what would be your tips for long distance marriage- complacency and boredom. I am interested in your thoughts. Keeping in mind the long distance is just temporary and the couple will be living together soon in a couple of months

    1. My thoughts about it are already in the video you’ve just watched, man. 🙂 Express how you feel to your spouse. Since it’s long distance, then you can use various tools to do that like Skype or over the phone. As for being romantic, you can order her roses online and have them send over to her house. If you need a more specific advice that’s tailored to your unique situation, I recommend signing up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program, designed both for repairing and improving your marriage, at http://www.marriageguy.com/coaching

  3. husband does not want to do anything new,like move home, stuck in same boring rut,romance is dead..given up on that.He has no sense of humor never has had one.
    Excitement is not always about sex,but living a more stimulating life.
    love to walk away for ever.if i had somewhere to go and be free would do that .

    1. Sorry to hear that. What did you mean by a more stimulating life though? Is he into extreme sports? 🙂 All kidding aside, I doubt the situation has always been that way with you two… so the question is, what happened? When did all the trouble started and what has caused it? These may help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU0yhd3ADXU and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_vzHFqnasM&t=7s but it’s really challenging for me to know where to give you a headstart, knowing only so little of the situation… Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching

    1. Hi Anumeha. You’re very welcome. Glad to be of help 😉

      Feel free to like, share and subscribe to my channel so you don’t miss out on any new videos!

    1. Hi Stephanie. Thanks for your interest in the program…. the site isn’t hacked thankfully, but I’m sorry you’re having trouble ordering. Can you please send the details of any error message you’re seeing to support@mendthemarriage.com? My support guy John will be happy to sort out the issues for you. 🙂

    1. I appreciate the support. If it’s not too much to ask and if you haven’t done so yet, please like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won’t miss any of my upcoming videos. I’d really appreciate it, too! 🙂

  4. How do you get your partner to be more emotional instead of offering solution when you’re upset about something? My husband doesn’t know how to talk to me when I’m upset. He just tells me how to solve the problem, but I just need to be heard. I also don’t need him to tell me the other parties reasonings. I want him to take my side, but he sees it as ‘helpful’ to do this. I’ve tried drawing it in a chart, but he has a hard time with this concept. This in turn, gets me more frustrated because I have to explain to him how to comfort me. It’s a bad cycle and ends up in an argument.

    1. Just tell him to just listen and not react for a while. Appreciate him in little things he do when you feel comforted…not just when you’re explaining your side. It will go a long way.

    2. Guys generally aren’t emotional people and will always try to solve a problem by logic and reasoning. If you want someone to hear you out then find a girlfriend. You’ll come off as constantly complaining for no reason to him if you just vent constantly.

    3. The book ” men are from mars , women are from Venus.. Deals with this head on…I’ve only read six chapters in the book and it helped me to understand things differently already!! But Brad is right also. I’m currently dealing with other issues in my marriage and Brad’s video may be the key…so yeah…hope you and your spouse do read the book…

    4. As women we are naturally emotional… it’s easier said than done but we have to step out of our emotions and do things to make ourselves happy. Stop depending on someone to make you happy, once he sees that you can make your own self happy without him…and you begin to level up inside and outside consistenly… he will try to extend happiness to you, but try not to get caught up into him making you happy. Use the happiness that he extends to you as an addition to what you can already provide within. Self love is the greatest love… Always…

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