How To Have A Great Marriage – Esther Perel

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"Treat your partner like you treat your client and you will have a great marriage." – Esther Perel on how to have a great marriage.



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30 thoughts on “How To Have A Great Marriage – Esther Perel

  1. “If you don’t take your partner for granted and know they can leave at any moment, you make an effort, you make an effort you do with your business client. Because they won’t take this and you never take those for granted. Because the client can always leave you if he gets better service somewhere else. Treat your partner the way you treat your client, with the same humor, seductiveness, kindness and you will have a great marriage.”
    Brilliant! Simply BRILLIANT!!!!! So true! The only problem is, that it is really exhausting. You wanna relax at home and not have another “client” in your bedroom. Although no doubt, that if you would be able to apply this rule, you would really have an amazing relationship.

    1. It’s the difference between appreciating and taking for granted. There is a comfortable medium, and you would still have a great relationship.

    2. I totally agree and I think that things really go in cycles. If you were professional 100% of the time, you’d never truly be able to confide fully in your partner. It would be utterly alone to never be able to complain or let things slide a bit.

    3. lusigirl It maybe true for some but not for all. I personally know someone who did the same for her husband, i.e., treated him like her king, made herself always available, kept herself in A1 condition, maintsining her figure and wore the sweetest perfume. But alas! she discovered that her husband, the love of her life, had the nerve to cheat on her with whom? None other than their housemaid!!!! So, the mice played while the cat was away.

  2. whenever one of my friend is heartbroken and pained from cheating, i always point them to Esther Perel on youtube 😉
    Brian Rose, nice pick ?

  3. One thing I have found is break up always get the slacker to develop arm reach, profound value for the one who left. But why is that? Why wait until after a breakup or when you are close to lose a SO to get the massage, your partner could leave at any moment if you fail to fulfill as promise? Treat your partner like they are indeed your client you never want to lose.

  4. I think that we should treat ANYONE in our life the way we would treat a client—romantic partner or not. This would just exponentially increase the quality of all our relationships.

    1. I think you have a very good point Khurty! And how true it is when she says ‘Many of us are on our best behaviour at work but then bring our leftovers home’.

  5. Being motivated by fear won’t work it is still selfish. Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church and lied down his life for her. Likewise wives respect and submit to your husband as to the lord. The husband has not The conjugal right to his own body and likewise the wife has not the conjugal right her her own body less Satan tempts you. Turn to Christ or you will shatter your own marriage and blame your “partner” (what a ridiculous word as it assumes gender equality) for something you’re both responsible for. Ps. High level intimacy always equals high sexual desire barring premarital sexual abuse.

    1. Hey saw your comment.. thanks for sharing your opinion but this is a discussion about psychology , not religion so I’m not sure how you’re linking that with this

      Cheers though

  6. Esther has a lot of knowledge but also know that even with this advice you can not truely control another person They may have been raised in a way that does not value the opposite sex or they have other (originating) family hang ups that may have nothing to do with you but met be hurtful to you. And you can spend years treating your partner as a client with good intentions and still come up short unfortunately

  7. After a long day of work, you just want to come home and be indolent with your partner, but this is risky. Put in the effort and give your partner respect and give them elevated presence. Hell, do this for yourself too! If you do it for yourself maybe it will come naturally for your partner.

  8. This wise woman reminds of my sociology teacher in college. She was very intelligent, insightful, articulate and to top it off she was attractive and to top that she was one of the most compassionate people I ever met.

  9. Wow sounds exactly like my what my mother said when she decided to get a divorce after 30 years of marriage. She said he took me for granted but will regret what he did for a long time. She was right.

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