How to Rebuild Your Relationship With Your Spouse

Go Here Now,To Save Your Marriage!

— How to Rebuild Your Relationship With Your Spouse (Save Your Marriage)

Hey YouTube, Brad Browning here. I’m a relationship coach from western Canada and today I’m going to share with you some helpful tips for rebuilding your relationship with your spouse.

Now before I get started I just want to quickly say that no marriage is perfect, so even if it feels like your relationship is crumbling, you can still single-handedly save it. To find out your chances of saving your marriage, pop on over to www.marriageguy.com/quiz and take the free online test. It’ll also let you know what you need to do to save your relationship based on your quiz results.

Now, let’s get started.

The first and perhaps most important thing to note is that rebuilding your relationship with your spouse starts with you.

I know this sounds cliche, but it’s true! Since there are likely issues between you and your spouse, recognizing how you negatively contribute to the relationship is crucial. Once you do you can work on yourself and become the best version of you possible.

To do this, ask yourself where your problems lie, or what things you do that cause arguments or push your spouse away. For example, maybe you have a pessimistic streak that comes out far too often, or maybe you nag him or her about little things all the time. Whatever is it, pinpoint your problems and make an effort to work on them. Once your spouse sees that you’re working on you, he or she will be much more inclined to work on rebuilding your relationship, with you.

The next thing you’ll want to do is avoid setting high expectations.

Now I know this can be hard, especially when your imagination gets the best of you, but if you want to work on saving your relationship then it’s important to not set unrealistic expectations for your spouse. In other words, don’t expect him or her to be someone they’re not.

Sure, you may love the idea of your spouse getting involved in the things you like to do, or stepping up their romantic game, but again, you can’t expect your husband or wife to change over night or become the someone they’re not.

Simply put, the key to rebuilding your relationship with your spouse is to avoid setting the bar too high. When you create unrealistic expectations you’ll only find yourself disappointed.

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50 thoughts on “How to Rebuild Your Relationship With Your Spouse

    1. You’re welcome! If you haven’t already, please like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won’t miss any of my upcoming videos. I’d really appreciate it! 🙂

    2. Brad Browning so should the no contact rule be used if my spouse has ignored all text and phone calls during separation?

  1. Hi Brad one week ago I was going such a Bad time me and my girlfriend brake up I was in a conversation with her I told her that I don’t think so we can make it I ask for brake up because she likes travelling one month ago she go to Australia and she have a list of countries where she want to visit after Australia I’m scared I may lose her because she might find someone else on her ways she blocked me everywhere in social media two days after our break up I opened a new whatsapp to apologize her she read my message now one day but she didn’t reply yet please I need a help

    1. Your best bet is still to cut off contact and yes, it will work in a sense to where you get to clear your mind to be in a better position to deal with an ex when the time comes — instead of letting emotions overrule everything, risking things to get blown out of proportion even further. Make sense? But will no contact ALONE work to get your ex back? In some cases it may, but oftentimes not, because the no contact phase is only part one of the three-step process I teach in my Ex Factor Guide. Learn the basics here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeGNPBdpnsI I also made a quick vid to those who are seemingly lost and could use a reminder on what to do: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obBIttQSak4

    2. thanks for the reply Brad I ask this question one week ago but finally she unblocked me again on whatsapp today is one week but we still don’t write each others I want to do no contact rules for one month’s then write her because of she unblocked me only on whatsapp I’m still blocked both instagram and facebook should I have to do no contact rules or

  2. hey brad me and my girlfriend were together she is from france and i am from India so she had to go back we didnt break up but she doesnt want a long distance relationship we still talk , skype though she told me that she loves me we were very close i cant go to her for now that hurts me so how do i tell her to be patient and express my love towards her i would go to usa we would still be far but there is a chance for me to go to paris but not in next 6 monts so it hurts me that i cant do anything about my situation how shall i approach it she told me that when we meet again i we could be in a relationship she is just pissed by the fact that i keep telling her that we would meet or not this time is tough plzz help me i need ur advice thank u….

  3. A little advice Coach Brad:
    I did the no contact period. But I do see her in the mornings. around 40+ days of no contact I noticed she can’t even look at me and doesn’t responds as if she’s mad. Why is she being stubborn?

  4. I’m telling everyone what that is having a bad day bc of a brake up or something else with a relationship. listen to this guy. I’m having a relationship problem and just found this guys channel and I subscribed. he knows what he’s talking about and im just wandering why I didn’t find him sooner. his advice is helping me. I’m going to actually take it and listen to it and im feeling better. I just got out of a bad one. but listen to this guy. He is helping me already. I appreciate it brad thank you.

    1. Thanks for your support! If you haven’t already, please like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won’t miss any of my upcoming videos. I’d really appreciate it! 🙂

    2. Brad Browning hey no problem man. you deserve it. but like my problems still going on and I have a question to ask of you. at hoco yes im 16 but my ex tried to kiss a guy on front of me and hoco was last Friday and them today I found put she’s trying to have sex with the guy. I feel like she’s trying to get a reaction out of me or make me jelous bc im still going on the 30 day no talk plan and we broke up last tuesday. I could explain more but most of its private.

    3. Brad Browning and I would like to talk and tell you if I could but I don’t want to be that person that tries to talk to you 24/7 yah know? I’m not like that but I mean I want to hear what you have to say about it all in the process. see if you could spread any light on it and help me out. thank you

  5. Hi brad . My fiancé and I were suppose to get married beginning next year. We were together for 6 years. Last week thursday after a normal great day. She left me . No reason or explanation. She is however bipolar and on new medication. My heart tells me that this might be the cause . A moment of impulse. I love her to death and we were great together. Do you think your tips would work in a bipolar case? I know this is not how our story is suppose to end. We have not spoken since. She is basically ignoring me and post hurtful things.

    1. That was odd. I’m sorry to hear that, nevertheless. As her partner, I understand that it must be very hard on you as well. The best thing you can do right now, however, is to encourage her to seek treatment. If you’re referring to clinical depression, there’s obviously nothing we can do about that, seeking medical advice is best. If you’re determined to get her back though or are just confused on what to do and how best to move forward with your life, then sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching

    2. Hi Brad . It has been a while and nothing has changed. Yes I am referring to clinic depression, she is diagnosed bipolar. She basically cut me out of her life. We have spoken once or twice while following your tips. Kept it positive and true. But it seems like it won’t ever change back to normal. Still don’t know what happened, but hope to find out soon. Keeping hope, but will know when is enough. Seems like she is sticking with her choice though… Apologies for the long replies and thank you for making time for every one. You save live’s , keep it up.

  6. i need help but im new and im doing all of your ex videos and i have a other problem that i want you to please help me 😞

    1. Hi there… As what so many people here are already doing, you may also leave a comment detailing your situation (keep it concise, please) and I’ll get back to you the soonest I can. However, if you need my full attention where I focus in on and prioritize your situation or need a response as soon as possible, feel free to sign up for my coaching program at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching

  7. have a problem. me and wife disconnected for a long time. lived together but that was it. she had an affair a few years back. she disconnected further even though she said she loved me she stayed away (I think guilt) . I got frustrated and resentful. we parted further, now she had another affair. she’s now acting like an addict. this guy’s wife blocks her, them.two are trying to fix them. I meanwhile am trying to fix her, myself (and thank you you helped me deal, discover and fix my issues) and our marriage. she’s lying, hating me (some I kind of earned as my feelings colored my action/ reaction to her for a long time) . what do I do? I’m lost, hurting.

    1. Hi! One affair after another can be really tough on you, man, sorry to hear you’re going through this. I doubt she’s always been like this so when had all this problem started though? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching

    2. Brad Browning it started back 2 years ago. she became withdrawn after the first affair. guilt, depression etc. I guess it cascaded into this. I know I after a few months became frustrated myself at the lack of everything do to her guilt.

  8. Hey Brad! I met my ex yesterday after a long time for not seeing each others. We had fun time together and I acted cool. We didn’t talk anything serious, just easy things. I asked her if she want to see me again this week and she answered “I have to look my work schedule first”. Hmm? So for now on I haven’t call or text her anything after yesterday when we met. What should I do know? I still don’t know what is she truly thinking. I’m just kinda waiting if she is texting me first. What is my next move? When should I tell her about my feelings?

    Thanks Brad if you’ll answer

  9. my ex boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago and we been together for 8 1/2 years and he recently started to tell me he realize he doesn’t feel the same on how he felt in August when he broke up with me and he said tryna progress where me and him stand now and he left a voice-mail message saying that he did some thinking and he realize he did do somethings that was not right in the realationship and how he should of appreciated me more and he was sorry for hurting my feelings and he wants to tell me more in person but have not make a date and it’s been 2 weeks but it was no cheating in the realationship…I don’t if should I move on or not

    1. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Don’t make hasty decisions though, always take time out for yourself to clear your head, too, especially since there’s so much history between you two, with 8 years or so! It’s a bad idea to talk about feelings when the breakup is still fresh though. I suggest you let him really miss you. You see, the thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch. Watch this, too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSs5qL85cSc and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential! Check it out at www.breakupbrad.com

  10. Hi Brad! I’m keeping the no contact rule and I was wondering how do I break it once the period of no contact is over? I’m also working on improving myself during this time and learning how to thrive without him. I saw another video say you shouldn’t go past 66 days with no contact because it takes that long to break a habit. And what would be the right thing to do/say to break the rule?

  11. Here is an email (below) I wrote to my wife, open to any thoughts. I decided to write her because although we’ve just separated, we still chat. We still say “i love you” before hanging up. I purchased the Mend the Marriage Material and reading, and listening to it everyday.

    Also, our careers have forced us to live in two different states for the past 8 months. From day one, I read many marriage books, watched almost all of your videos, anything to make sure our distance could withstand. About a week after finally coming back together, she asked for a separation. We’ve been separated for about a week.

    my email to her…

    “Let’s continue to build our marriage, not forgetting the hurt in the past but acknowledging it so we can do things better… Together. Let’s forgive one another so we can be free to be us. If we choose to truly forgive, then we must be fully aware of what we both need to do on our own to make our marriage stronger. We just have to choose to come out of this on top. We can choose to win together or to fail apart. Yes it’ll take time, it’ll be hard, but let’s do it hand in hand.

    This is not about a second chance, it’s about growing together, enduring together…. Even through the rough times so we can come out of every situation stronger than before. We can focus on ourselves individually while still standing together, supporting.

    I’m aware of my mistakes and I will look deeper into what you see… I’ll make efforts and I’ll make mistakes but I won’t give up. The hurt is there but let’s make our love surpass all the negative.

    I’m here to build my career for us, to provide, to build together, to love you unconditionally, to love your family unconditionally.

    We fought tooth and nail, for 8 months, to be together – let’s stick to that commitment – with love and a fresh perspective on what each other are really saying.

    Let’s choose us with love and empathy and not with distance or confrontation.

    I’m in…. Are you?

    I love you, always and forever”

    1. Sorry to hear that, man. Since her asking for a separation was recent, sending emails like this one is generally a bad idea. Give her her space first, since she obviously needs it, for whatever reason. Follow the e-book down to a tee, all right? Don’t rush this process, too. You’re also welcome to sign up for my coaching program if you’re unsure how to go about this or you’re planning to do something but not sure if it’s a good idea or not, etc. but I would have to look a the situation as a whole in order to give solid advice, at www.marriageguy.com/coaching

  12. Hey Brad my partner of 9 years has left me.. we have 3 kids together..For years now I’ve suffered from mental illness which make me difficult to be around.. i am quite insecure .. I haven’t Worked in a while and we have been getting nowhere as far as making the life we want goes.. I can see how she feels it would be better for us and the kids if we separated Buti absolutely love her to pieces and I can’t stand the thought of not being together as a family.. I need to make he fall back in love with me and believe that I can be who I need to be to provide for my family.. admittedly our relationship is a little toxic .. she left with the kids a few days ago and was to stay with her dad but is coming back tomorrow so we can do Xmas with the kids and sort out living arrangements.. there has been constant contact so I can talk to the kids but most of the calls have been made by her and she is also very upset and is physically sick and stressed out I don’t know if this is because she feels like she wants me back or just stressed looking after the kids on her own.. part of me feels like I should accept the break up and try and repair it later after a period of separation.. but most of me just wants to get my family unit back together before we have to tell the kids and because I just can’t stand being away from her and them.. intimacy has been dwindling between us for quite some time and we have been stuck in a rut. Though the last few days has given me plenty of reflection time and I know I’m ready to change for the better..My heads clearer and I feel focused.. but I don’t feel like she is testing me by leaving like she did.. I feel like she is serious and was just giving me time to cool down before one of us moved out.. i am scared.. I dont want to separate I just hope it’s not to late there’s so many more details I could add but I feel like this is long winded enough.. feels good to type all this out.. PS. Your videos are great and you have an awesome delivery method.. thanks for reading an possibly pointing me in a good direction

    1. Sorry to hear that. Use this time apart to focus on yourself and work on your issues. So give each other space as this also helps you regain your own balance, okay? Anyway this is one of the cases where the “no contact” rule is actually an exception…but DON’T initiate random contact in any way and don’t make any unnecessary chitchats, all right?I’ve discussed it in these videos, as well as how to handle it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKhNHhEmYMg and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydeES3WU1Uc  but read my  Ex Factor Guide so you’ll have an in-depth view on how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential at www.breakupbrad.com Okay? Take care!

  13. Sir I’ve cheated to my wife for 1 month and becuase my conscience eaten me, I told my wife what I’ve did. 3months now she always keep telling me that she don’t love me anymore and she never trust me anymore. But she want me to stay in our house just for my daughter only and she said that’s it. I love her so much i love my daughter, I want to save my family please help me. Thank you sir, sorry for bad English

    1. Hey man, your wife would need time to process what happened and her own emotions in this, so give that to her, okay? Give her your most sincere apology but don’t be forceful about getting her to forgive you right away. Show her you understand her by giving her space but at the same time, let her approach you and be prepared to answer any questions related to the cheating. This can be pretty tough but you ought to handle it right. I suggest you sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching

    2. Brad Browning
      Thank you sir, she’s talking to me and smiling but she always said that, don’t expect her to love me again. Do you have a book that related with my problems sir? coz I work 16 hours a day 7 days a week, Can you suggest a book from yours? thank you for responding. I really love my wife and I want my family complete.

  14. Hi Brad. Do you have any videos on marriage and children and how one person in a relationship has issues with sharing their spouse with a child?

    1. Is it your child together or did he have it before you two met? As of the moment, I don’t, but if there’s still a spot left, you’re welcome to ign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching

  15. Hi Brad we weren’t married but we were leaving together for 2 years we have a daughter and we broke up and had to move out ,im desperate to fix everything and he call me everyday to know how the baby is doing and we aso se each other at the gym . He said right know hes not ready for me to move back …im sad , i dont know what to think anymore or what to do he said he doesn’tsay No*but right now hes not ready for me to move back .please help me 😥

    1. Sorry to hear you’re going through this. What happened, though? This is one of the cases where the “no contact” rule is actually an exception…but DON’T initiate random contact in any way and don’t make any unnecessary chitchats, all right?I’ve discussed it in these videos, as well as how to handle it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKhNHhEmYMg and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydeES3WU1Uc  but read my  Ex Factor Guide so you’ll have an in-depth view on how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential at www.breakupbrad.com Okay? Take care!

    2. Brad Browning we met and i got pregnant everything happened really fast after a while a started to be jealous for no reason and there was not much communication and we tried ,now its being 4 months we broke up we are not leaving together i did begged and he has told me that for now he want to be alone and hes not ready for me to go back home and that maybe if in the future he decide to be with me and im still waiting than we will be together ,but sometime he also tells me No im not going back with you!so im really confuse.😥

  16. I actually think that my spouse being so critical with me and expecting me to change in ways actually made our relationship stronger. Initially I was discouraged and down-right offended about how he would point out (what seemed like everything) to me as though it was wrong. However, I did know that one of my greatest faults is being so undisciplined. While we went through a patch of possible resentment I had maintained great respect for him and him “walking his own talk”. After giving in to his suggestions (initially just to avoid a discussion), I saw that much of what he was telling me was actually great advice and I had been too stubborn and guarded to hear him out. Now I am so proud of how much I’ve grown as a person and so happy to be with someone I can learn from. Also, he doesn’t teach with the most compassion and patience but he really means well. It took me years to really understand and accept him for who he really is. That helped me to altar the way I had perceived his remarks as criticism and understood it as being constructive suggestions.

  17. I am very happy I found your channel! Is really helpful.
    Can I ask you.. do you stammer? Because I do and I do some of thw things you do.. and I notice you use full costal breath to talk (which is one of the techniques to help with it).. am just curious 🙂

    1. I’m glad you’re here. Welcome to my channel! 🙂 But no, I don’t stammer. I’ve been told I talk really fast but really that’s how I normally talk. LOL

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