26 thoughts on “How to save your Marriage in Islam and Stories of Divorce – TheDeenShow #175

  1. It saddens me that Sisters do that. My aunt in the UK couldn’t even see her kids because her husband used bribery(i.e.material things) to keep the kids with him. After about 25 years she saw her kids and guess what the father didn’t even teach them anything about islam they practically grew up with no religion. Even to this day my auntie tries to bring them back to the deen but they refuse to listen. This was ultimately due to the way in which the father raised the children.

  2. I really faced this problem, and now we are separated. 2 kids suffering really from it, my inlaws played a all possible roles to make it happened.

  3. it’s silly to plan this and plan that. we all make plans and life happens. divorce is a crapshoot. some of us stay married while some divorce. this is a normal part of life.

  4. @mibkqgy
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  5. May Allah make it easy for all family. That’s why we get married to stay away from from the fitnah. Marriage is for life, and the children suffer!

  6. How realistic are his examples though??? How many of us are married to Millionaires that a women in today’s society does not have to work? Most of us in the West have to have a two family working household. And many of us women would LOVE to stay home and raise our children but our economic situation does not permit that. It is a lot of pressure for men in today’s society to support their family alone.

  7. you need to know that it’s never too late to find love for your spouse again! i have also gone through lonely times recently but im so happy i worked things out my spouse now. this site saved me… bitly.com16tMysB

  8. As Salam alaikum wa rahmatu lahi wa Barakatu,
    I couldn’t help but feel this entire bit of advice was completely bias towards the fault of the woman.
    What are his, br. Moustafa’s, qualifications to give marital advice? Slapping “Imam” in front of one’s name has become common ground these days to allow anyone to give advice. He’s got a lot of nerve and very little humility to be able to take that much responsibility for his words of “advice”. As an English teacher I found it quite telling when I read his “example” of his aunts situation on the website that led me here. Example: quote:
    “One story that symbolizes this fact, which actually happened in my family, is when my aunt, one of the best Muslim women I’ve seen in my life, had finished preparing dinner for her husband and repeatedly called him to dinner. However, he was busy reading an INTERESTING article in a newspaper, and kept telling her that he’ll be right over.

    At that moment, his wife made the mistake of allowing the Satan to get her angry and walked straight to him, SNATCHED the newspaper, TORE it to pieces, and THREW it on the ground. What would you do if you were that Muslim man?

    Here is what he did: VERY QUIETLY, he KNEELED on the floor, GATHERED the pieces of the newspaper, brought scotch tape, sat again, and PATIENTLY taped together his newspaper WITHOUT BLAMING his wife with one look or one single word!”

    My aunt told me that her husband’s POLITENESS in response to HER ANGER was worse than somebody whipping her mercilessly. She felt so ASHAMED and RESPECTED HIM for FORGIVING AND TOLERATING HER in that Islamic way. What the husband did was not only something that saved the couple and their marriage from a potential disaster, but it also opened a guaranteed credit
    of forgiveness with his wife the next time Satan may deceive him into anger!”

    Notice I capped all of the words of significance. All of the verbs, adjectives, etc. Pretty telling of the subliminal message the author is trying to give out.
    Let me ask him, what consequences were there for his actions of ignoring his wives repeated polite requests for coming to dinner, the one in which she and not he prepared for them? If this were his boss at work asking him to attend a meeting, would he have responded in the same manner? The woman throughout this article and this video is demonized, and bears the brunt of responsibility. Shame on you.

    And what is “feminine”? He pointed out that the woman should be feminine so the man can be masculine. Does that mean she should jump up on a chair when she sees a mouse? Wear make up and a lingerie when he gets home? I’m always confused by this term.
    I recall with love and admiration of Nusaiba (radi Allahu anha) and how she defended our Prophet (s’Allahu alayhe wa salam) in battle, was that being feminine?

    Okay, so br. Moustafa did have one good thing to say, “seek advice from someone qualified to give it.” this brother is not.

    And Allah Knows Best.

    1. I agree. I did not appreciate how he used a woman as an example of blindly obeying the parents when a lot of men out there blindly obey their mothers to the point where they destroy their own marriages. You often hear stories of mother-in-laws constantly interfering in their son’s marriages with their son’s setting zero boundaries. The mother-in-law would instruct her son to treat his wife in a way that is not permitted in Islam, but because she is the mother it seems such men believe they must follow her orders. This is one of the most prevalent issues in marriages within all societies yet this “imam” chose to use the woman as an example of such stupidity. Too right he’s bias! 

    2. well you are entitled to your own opinion but I believe the Imam speaks reality rather dressing issue to make some people feel happy

  9. hey , if anyone else wants to learn about how to improve your marriage relationship try Tarbetti Marriage Improver Tutor (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now ) ? Ive heared some great things about it and my mate got excellent results with it.

  10. Hey did you know that Fabian is getting calls from his ex again? (he wanted her back secretly back hehe)I know! She swears by the advice given by this guy named Treitan Mellory (who I will google by the way). Maybe then I’ll understand what’s all the hype about the guy.

  11. plz make dua for my marriage.. i don’t want to lose him. he is trying to leave and i really don’t want him to, it will destroy me.

  12. There are many components to saving your partnership. One resource I found which successfully combines these is the Mirykal marriage plan (google it if you’re interested) it’s the no.1 guide that I have ever seen. Check out all the super info .

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  14. I agree with the mother in law comment. I noticed that these Mother in laws lash out on the Daughter in law(s) or Son in law (s). They take out all their past disappointment, resentment, bitterness, anger, aggression, pain and frustrations and project on their children spouses. This misdirect anger towards the children spouses is what causes a lot of martial breakups. These type of Mils need a punishing bag and scapegoats to realease their negative emotions. They can’t take it out on whoever caused there grievance therefore pick on a easy target, a person who is not their blood, which usually is the daughter in law, and sometimes the son in law.

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