Should I Give Up Or Fight For My Marriage?

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We know how difficult it is when your marriage is in trouble: the pain, helplessness, and hurt seem overwhelming. Here at Marriage Helper, we not only know this pain, we understand it, and we've had the privilege of helping thousands figure a way past this marital mess, and to find a path to being in love with each other again- even those who said they were not in love with their spouses any longer, and even those who wanted out because they felt they were deeply in love with someone else.

You can be the person who doesn't give up on your spouse, who you've loved, and still love. You can be a person who will fight for your marriage, and we'll stand alongside you and help in every way we can.

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36 thoughts on “Should I Give Up Or Fight For My Marriage?

  1. Since she walked out it is now 2 months and I continue to work on myself and use PIES. Thanks to marriage helper I have found strength.

  2. After 7 months of going through the grieving process and healing, working on my PIES with dedication I have now realized how much work I needed to do years ago. I know I took my wife for granted, that I disrespected her, and as you said I want nothing more than to change those behaviors from the past. Today is today and I finally know what unconditional love really means. That I don’t love her because of fears but because I love her from my heart. I haven’t given up despite external advise as you mentioned because I loved her then when we met and I love her now at a much deeper level. I am not ready to give up on us after 23 yrs. We are a beautiful couple and I know deep inside a small spark is all it takes to win the fight. Until then it’s understanding, acknowledgement of the hurt I caused her, and unconditional love, commitment, and I am here still standing.

    1. Hang in there Mike. I have been waiting 3 years my buddy 10. We spoke to a lady with an awesome testimony – she waited 20 years and God restored her marriage. Her husband realized he was miserable without her and now they can minister to other couples in the same situation. God bless you.

    2. mikefr12 going through the same situation. She left me 6 months back and doesn’t want to be back but I am still with that hope that she realises the value of 10 years of love and come back.

    3. Hey @Bonney Rai all I can say is not to give up the fight. It is hard to hear her say she doesn’t want to come back or doesn’t miss the relationship even after all these months. Work on yourself to become the better version of yourself. That’s all you can do with intent for yourself. Give her the space to come to her senses. 10 years is a long time and so is 23 years to just toss it away. There are just pent up feelings and emotions they also need to process.

    4. mikefr12 I would love to know where you both are in y’all marriage now! I’m hoping your determination, drive, and will ..that GOD has restored

  3. My wife and I of just over 6 years of marriage and 4 kids have been in different houses for 2 months now and my first reaction was panic and pushed her so far away! My anger drove her to this decision and now I have stepped back have hope and 100% committed to me working on me and changing and working on this marriage even though she doesn’t want to! I still have a fire of passionate love for her and I will not quit! Please pray for a miracle I need this! And marriage helper so far has been a great influence on me and give me hope and I trust them because they know the pain! Thank you marriage helper. I can fully relate to this video because so many people tell me you’re over and leave her and you will never change but I have never been so committed to changing me and working on my marriage in a smart way

    1. Dillards Shopper you will be happy to know i didn’t cheat on my wife! Thank God . Me not taking my anger issue seriously pushed her to this point. And thank you for your kind words and please pray for this miracle of my marriage being saved

    2. I’m there but not seperated. I can only offer my own experience. I’m reading and have been growing so much in my understanding of how God designed us to do relationship, from the book: How To Stop The Pain by Dr. James Richardson. It is so helpful. Very instructive and it’s helping me change. Me. Forget about the other person, they are truly not my problem, even though they do things that hurt. We all do. My reactions and how I handle myself and others has to change, and by God’s help it finally is. Peace and much love to you and your precious family. In Christ Jesus forgiveness and mercy and rebirth for all. Amen.

    3. 70yeshua i am in the same situation, married for ten years have some anger issues in the past but never beat her up or nothing like that, i am very ashamed of myself and the way i have been, i love her more than anything willing to do anything to sort this out but i will never give up and need to sort my anger out if it is to last forever which iam going to. You never relise how precious sumthing is untill theres a threat of it being snatched away i am in pieces.

  4. I need help, I have been married for 35years, my husband has been cheating for most of the 35yrs whilst working away from home when he was in the military in South Africa obviously unbeknown to me. He now works for a company that supplies radios etc. to the military, also being away from home often and for the past 3 years has been having an affair but everyone thinks he is such a nice person and I am the witch, how do I deal with this, I am tired, exhausted.

  5. I say continually fight for it until you see absolutely nothing change over years and years then feel free to move on

  6. i am so frustrated. this sounds like me and i have been fighting for 6 years. she wants out around once a year. 2 kids. i fight and fight and fight. and i have won and we are happy for it . but this time looks bleak.

  7. You are wonderful!….
    I will keep fighting for my marriage even though I know my partner won’t trust that I have changed,God understands that I have changed.i hope we can be happy again some day 🙁

  8. This video is my lifeline, thank you Dr. Beam! I re-watch this every time I think of giving up. Your line in here about do what’s important to you is at the heart of my fight. Thank you and MH for everything you do!

  9. Its Been 3 Years & Still i am Waiting for that Beautiful Day to Regain My Love to Hold My Wife in My Arms. Its Almost Finished Everything but still i believe in Allah (God) to Help Me And Bless my Family to Reunite for this Relationship.
    Please Let me know what have to do 🙏

  10. I’m 58 married and I am a warrior I’ll fight for someone I love whose 76 and a widower thank u dr for sharing this❤😘

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