Signs Your Spouse Wants A Divorce (And How To Stop It)

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— Click here to learn how to stop your divorce.

IN THIS VIDEO: Signs to look for that indicate your spouse may be thinking about asking for a divorce.

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If you’re worried about the state of your marriage, then it will be worth your time to watch this video to the end to ensure that you know how to avoid this from happening to your relationship.

My name is Brad Browning, by the way… some people call me the Marriage Guy because of my Mend the Marriage program, which is a best-selling guide to preventing divorce and re-building a loving and lasting marriage. For more marriage-saving tips or to learn about my program, please visit my website at MarriageGuy.com.

Now, let’s dive straight into the first sign that may indicate your spouse is considering divorce… the first one is pretty obvious…

Sign #1 – Arguing Over Anything & Everything.

Yes, it’s no secret that an increase in the frequency and intensity of arguments with your partner are a clear indication that all is not well with your marriage. Now, don’t panic here just because you and your spouse are fighting a few times a week… every married couple will disagree and have conflicts from time to time, and it’s actually a healthy thing to argue now and then as long as they lead to resolutions or don’t leave lingering hard feelings.

When those arguments become daily occurrences, and tend to arise over almost anything, then that’s when things get a bit more dicey. For example, if you arriving 5 minutes late for a dinner date turns into a massive screaming match and results in both of you going to bed angry for the third time in a week, then that’s a problem. These kinds of arguments, if they happen frequently and tend to blow small grievances or disagreements way out of proportion, can indicate that your marriage is headed in the wrong direction.

Most of the time, couples who argue too often but have otherwise healthy marriages can repair this problem relatively easily. In simple terms, if you and your spouse fight too much or argue often over small issues, you need to learn how to prevent the useless arguments and have more important disagreements in a more civilized and constructive manner. I’ve got some tips on how to do that in the video on my website, MarriageGuy.com, so head over there after this video if you want to learn more about arguing more effectively.

Now, another and potentially more serious indication of an unhealthy marriage is when one or both of you stops trying to resolve conflict at all. Which leads me to the next point….

Sign #2 – No Longer Willing To Resolve Conflict or Find Solutions.

If your partner seems to no longer care about the outcome of a fight, or if they seem to feel as though trying to find a solution to your problems is pointless or hopeless, then that can be a clear indication of deeper troubles. When this kind of despair sets in, your partner may withdraw further and feel as though there will never be a way for the two of you to live together in peace. That’s obviously not a good thing, and it’s something that you need to work on if this has become a problem in your marriage.

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72 thoughts on “Signs Your Spouse Wants A Divorce (And How To Stop It)

  1. #giftthetruth In America, there is one divorce approximately every 36 seconds. That’s nearly 2,400 divorces per day, 16,800 divorces per week and 876,000 divorces a year.
    The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is eight years.
    The average age for couples going through their first divorce is 30 years old.
    The top 6 reasons for divorce.

    1. Lack of mutual respect: When one or both spouses stop respecting one another, the foundation of the marriage is torn apart and little can be done to mend it. This is the biggest cause of divorce and is usually behind all the other issues involved.
    2. Excessive control or possessiveness: A healthy relationship partner supports you in having your own life, interests, and outside friends without feeling guilty or intimidated. Be wary of a spouse who wants to know who you talk to, where you go and how much money you spend daily.
    3. Blaming others for problems or situations that go wrong: Spouses who won’t take responsibility for their own actions and find fault with everybody else, especially you, create a climate ripe for divorce
    4. Too self-absorbed or easily insulted: If you have to walk on egg shells because you are fearful or uncomfortable speaking your mind and if there is no regard for your comfort or concerns, you’re with a spouse who only cares about him or herself.
    5. Consistently critical: A spouse who is critical, degrading, nasty, argumentative or moody is emotionally abusive. They instill fear, insecurity and doubt in their partners and can destroy your self-esteem.
    6. History of past physical abuse: A batterer usually will not change unless they’ve had some professional intervention. They make you feel unsafe and are intimidating or threatening with their behavior or language.

    1. Gift the T — Sounds like you want a room mate not a marriage. You are without any factual or substantial background to give such advice or opinion to people who want to mend their marriage.

      LH

    2. Frank — You are 100 % correct. Satan loves devastation, pain and torment of a family. People do not see what is going on unfortunately. A marriage is a gift and it is a shame that there is so much attack on a couple. So many men making hateful comments about women in general. It is nice to see that you look deeper to the truth of what is happening to families at this time.

      LH

    1. 7mile rook My husband treats me horrible. I cook, clean, save all his money and stay home. I don’t understand

    1. grumpy4577 mine started drinking and getting abusive. And worse doesn’t seem to realize she’s screwing things up.

  2. hi there my wife and I have been together for 10 years and married for 3 .we recently moved to her home town and 3 weeks ago she announced that she wasn’t happy and didn’t love me anymore. in the past I’ve done everything for her as she suffers with medical and mental health issues. my wife also announced she wants me to leave the family home and says we need time apart. to be fair she has said she can’t see into the future wether we can reconcile our marriage or not but she wants us to stay friends regardless. on my part it feels as though a tone bricks has come crashing down on me as I love her with every ounce of my being and genuinely feel we’d grow old together. I just need to know what to do to get things back on track .I have said to her I will start looking for somewhere to live after the Xmas holidays as to give our young son time to come to terms with it all and that I am determined to save our marriage and will do what ever it takes for us all to be happy again .please help …..please

    1. Sorry to hear that, man. Encourage her to seek appropriate medical treatment because that more likely plays a huge role on how things are between you two now. I’m not an expert in the medical field, but I do specialize in helping people deal and cope with problems in the marriage. Consider signing up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching

    1. Deborah Mccarthy You and me both ? i’m leaving either today or tomorrow 8 years wasted ? i tried to work it out i really did he didn’t even try he just gave up and is looking for a new fish what an ahole!

    1. My parents are screaming at each other right now too but I’m scared to say anything they fight almost everyday… ?

    2. Kaylie Kitty just remember something kiddo..whatever crap they are arguing about has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. Adults are worse than kids in the sandbox..some just don’t know how to play nice! ???? but don’t take it personal, you’ll understand when you grow up, but I’ll tell you something..LOVE is GOD AND GOD IS LOVE..therefore LOVE SHOULD NEVER hurt unless it’s teaching you a lesson which hopefully you’ll learn, & grow from the experience. Life is not always rainbows, sometimes we will face thunderstorms but nevertheless you gotta keep pushing through with a ?✌️???

    1. john — What a sad and unmanly specimen you must be. You are willing to throw away one of the most special relationships you can be given because you are insecure and afraid you can’t be man enough for a woman. How pathetic. Yah, that’s the answer stay alone your whole life and you are thinking this at 22 years old. SAD. Men have really become sissy’s.

      LH

    2. Amber— They all are. men are not men anymore. As you can see they are all here looking for each other to suck them and cry together . Sucking their thumbs and complaining about women. They are pathetic cowards who can’t cut it.

    1. You? Why what happened? Give her time first and leave her be as she’s obviously raging for now. When did all the trouble started and what has caused it? These may help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU0yhd3ADXU and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_vzHFqnasM&t=7s but it’s really challenging for me to know where to give you a headstart, knowing only so little of the situation… Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching

    2. Brad— How do you know she is raging ? Has it occurred to you maybe this gentleman does need some counselling & the wife may have cause ? You sound sexist . You have a bunch of men here crying and bitching about women. Saying they hate women basically. All looking for another man to console them. Men have become weak and pathetic. Why use the word “raging” when it comes to a man’s wife ? I’m out, the men here reflect the same sexism in this channel.

      LH

  3. It only works when both parties want it to work. My husband left 3 weeks ago. We have been together for 15 years, married for 2. We have had our share of issues, mostly because after we got married and he moved in, I wanted him to contribute to the bills and help with house work and he never did, I dealt with it. When I complained he left, 3 times since we got married but I always took him back, I even went to marriage counseling (alone, hahaha). But no, this time, its different. I started working 2 (two) full-time yes full-time jobs to support everything. (yes he worked too) I came home at 11 pm after working 16 hours. He asked if I could help pay for the gas in the generator since the ice storm was coming and his check was short. I asked why was your check short, he said because I didn’t work that much. ( thought to my self, how can I ask him so he don’t get mad, why the dishes aren’t done if he wasn’t working) I pondered and hesitantly asked, as nice and caring and sweet as possible ( I felt like I was a tiny little scared to death mouse) “then uh… why is the house not cleaned up?” BAM BOOM YELLING SLAMMING DOORS he grabbed some clothes and left. After two weeks of him being gone, not calling, texting nothing. I packed up all of his clothes in the bedroom, all his stuff in the basement and everywhere throughout the house and put it all in one corner of the basement in storage area and covered it up with a blanket. I decided, floors are made for walking on…not me.

    1. Tania T Sure took you a long time to realize. I’m thinking that if he comes back you’ll take him with open arms. Forget him and focus on self esteem. Taking care of a man? FOH

    2. Why do women pack up their men’s stuff? I just threw all the things i wanted him to take in the corner of the room and told him to come get it.

  4. I’m watching and so far my partner and I are going through every single one of these. We aren’t married but we have been together for ten years. It’s very heartbreaking to hear things from him like today, flippantly: “We don’t get along anymore.” As if that’s just our way of life and I should accept that. I’m not giving up. I’m still in love with him after all this time and here he is saying things like that to me. Here’s another gem from a week and a half ago. “I think I’ve been yelling at you recently because I really don’t give a #### anymore.” And, “I can’t trust you.” Yes I have adhd and forget things. YES I can have miss swings and I’m working at not taking him down with me during a meltdown. But for him to say these things to me makes me wonder if He’s too far gone, but watching this video helped me understand that we’re not the only ones going through this. If anything, I’m even more determined to change whatever it is I need to get him to turn a corner. How do you stay strong in the face of adversity EVERY SINGLE DAY?

    1. I hear you… Strength comes from within though. Perhaps try to separate yourself and not rely too much on him for happiness, granted that he’s been acting like a jerk. Find your solace. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, etc. but since you have quite a unique situation, so if you’re serious about saving it, then sign up for my coaching program at http://www.breakupbrad.com/coaching Take care!

    2. Brad Browning thank you for the reply and reaching out. Things are frustrating right now but I know you are right when you say strength comes from within. I hope I’m not leaning towards codependency.

  5. Jewish philosophers have told us that in a marriage, your spouse is like your mirror. They are the person we project our own fears and insecurities onto. If I had a spouse who was distant or seemed emotionally dysfunctional in any way, I would first take a look at the relationship they had with their parents and see if there is a correlation. When you love someone, you see them as the product of complexity, not the enemy. If you use tension as an opportunity to refine and heal one another, it will be very rewarding long term.

    1. Gimme a break it’s a business contract. It rewards women with a massive lump sum and a payroll when they divorce you. And you go to jail if you don’t cough up the dough. No man should ever get married under any circumstances.

  6. Women never leave or “check out” in a marriage unless she’s already lined up his replacement…(aka: The better deal is here).

    1. Not all do. I’ve coached some clients in a few cases where the marriage is so bad that they have to leave asap, with or without a replacement.

  7. Ex wife asked for a divorce twice and eventually got it. costs me thousands and a lot of heartache. 1 year later she asked me to take her back because she no longer had someone to support her. she lost out not me. Never going to be played for a sucker like that again. Marriage was not worth it. She didn’t offer anything more than what she did while we dated but got a lot more bossy and felt entitled. You want a relationship fine, but your not living with me and I will never marry you.

    1. Some people are toxic and not all relationships are meant to be saved. Good on you for dodging a bullet!

    1. hahah….Well, I guess the divorce had been a long time coming? If so, then good luck on your future endeavour! 🙂

    2. Carol Mayen What a lame comment. Shame on you. I know marriage is tough, but come on! Shame on you. I know my marriage is over, but it hurts. So sad for you to sound off that way.

  8. I want to separate. He’s so nasty and agitated with me most of the time I can’t talk to him about the simplest things without him snapping at me. Most of the time I avoid talking to him which I know can’t help, but I don’t like being treated so disrespectfully over asking a simple question.

  9. I’ve been married for almost 27 years, and with him 29. I was raised “old school” which means I take care of the kids, house, and husband. I always laid out his clothes and made sure he had hot meals etc., but 2 years ago I got sick. Because of my illness I haven’t been able to do my “wifely duties”, if you know what I mean, plus I’m losing use of my hands and hearing. My husband told me on June 3rd, immediately upon waking up, that we don’t have a marriage anymore, and if he had a place to go he’d be gone. I am still in shock at this, and I’ve not stopped doing everything I was doing, except for the sex. He always wanted it knowing I couldn’t and then get angry at me, but to leave over it or leave because I’m ill is beyond painful. He never let me work because he didn’t trust day cares, so now I have no job skills to support my self or my youngest who’s 13. Thank God my other 2 are older! To be honest I don’t know if I want to try and save it, I’m 45 now and if he can walk away after all these years over sex or illness…..maybe he should go

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