Seek first to understand and then to be understood. In a relationship you the easiest person to change is yourself. When you become the perfect partner you attract the best behaviour in your spouse.
In the book "How to make friends and influence people" Dale Carnegie says everyone has desire to feel important. If you can satisfy this desire, you will have the power to make them do anything. So why don't you stop shouting at your wife. Why don't you stop criticising her and doing her down. Start being lavish with praise and stingy with criticism. Be like Abraham Lincoln one of the greatest leaders that ever lived. ?
God bless you