79 thoughts on “Tony Robbins Saves A Marriage – 8 Minutes

  1. “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. ” – Anthony Robbins

    1. Success Resources Australia lol… they’ve been saying that line in AA since the 1950’s. And it’s free.

  2. Negative comments are left by negative people but Tony Robbins is an inspirational person none-the-less.  Take whatever you feel is positive and move on.

  3. I am not sure about  this relationship intervention. if you watched whole video especially where they met after 6 months, Tony was very surprised at the response when the guy said he gave up the band. which didnt make any sense to me at all. and seemed that the guy wasn’t really all that happy. he got domesticated. because a man would never give up what he loves for a woman. mainly because a woman would actually hate it. no woman wants to be number one in a guys life. because woman knows if she is number one and if she is for some reason gone. His life will be crushed. no woman wants a man like this who doesnt stick to his purpose and his own love of something he has outside relationship. so I was very skeptical about how happy their marriage was. in 6 months video it was clear he was like a little boy with his mom. nothing more. to me its was a fail – to give up a band- it will eat him inside forever.

    1. She doesn’t have to be number one priority, but more integrated into his vision of the future, otherwise what is the point of the relationship if both are just kinda doing their own thing separately? Then they are just roommates

    2. You clearly know absolutely nothing about what women want/like/desire/need. He probably gave the band up because it was his escape from his life, not necessarily a passion. When a person is fulfilled with their life, they don’t go looking for escapes to “get away”. Had it been a true, deep passion that was bringing positive things into his life (like a legit musician), then his wife probably would have supported it in the first place.

    3. Women in relationships with men expect to be the number 1 priority, and if you don’t treat them that way, they will think of you as less-than. That’s the truth, and that’s also fair. If you think women want to be treated as a secondary priority, you will go on to have a very bad love life,in all honesty.

    4. No Name Sigh. Not all women look at things that way. I look at it as my boyfriend is my partner and we work through things together. I don’t know why that is such a difficult concept.

    5. No Name What about what the man needs? Why can’t they work together to fulfill each other’s needs? If he enjoys playing in the band, she could go see his gigs. Maybe they could practice only once a week. Maybe he could start writing songs about her. Even if it is an escape, why should he have to give it up. Maybe he could offer to take care of the kids for a night so that she could persue an interest of her own. Maybe the issue is that she feels unfullfilled.

  4. Tony first look at the primary states. He feels bad about the relationship with his wife, but feels great about thinking about playing guitar. Tony looks first for resources internally to move forward a more desired state of mind toward his wife. Then Tony helps him to dissasociate, this is powerful tool because he internally realizes how really loves her wife and the lack of love he is giving to her. At the end he realizes what he needs to feel well and be happy. This type of sessions helps you to realizae where you are stuck and how to get out of the negative state with just pure questioning.

    1. Actually he did. A little more than he did for himself, and that’s why he divorced her. Because he wasn’t truly happy, but didn’t want to hurt her for 15 years. He put her and her kids first regardless.

    2. You know, I’m tired of listening to his groupies give him excuses. Robbins even admitted to cheating on his first wife frequently and even had a child out of wedlock. He was in a relationship with his second wife also while he was married to his first.

  5. Amazing how you picture someone’s wife or husband just based on what they look like and then you see that you’re totally wrong!

  6. I see some people saying “But why didn’t she have to change! Why didn’t she have to grovel at HIS feet?” He was already being fulfilled. He was playing in a band that he loved and doing something he loved to do. She didn’t have that. I am actually very happy to see that even 5 year’s later they were doing great. What Tony was telling him is that once he fulfills her needs, she will be so happy and elated with life that she will in return change as well and start fulfilling his needs more than he ever dreamed. She will actually WANT him to play in the band more. She will actually smile when he walks out the door to go play. Because she doesn’t have to long for his time and love anymore.

    If we continue with the whole “I’m not doing it first. She needs to fulfill him first” mentality, nothing get’s done. It’s not about who does it first. It’s about if you love your partner and want to be happy together, take the leap. When I’m happy in my relationship, I go above and beyond for my husband. Even though I spent the entire day working, caring for 3 kids, and cleaning and laundry ect….I still want to climb in bed and give him a massage for an hour before he goes to sleep. Just give love. Give everything you got. They will in turn do the same if they love you just as much. If they don’t….its safe to say you did everything you could and you just have to leave.

    1. Wow what a fantasy you paint. Here’s reality. I have done everything I could for my wife and I mean everything. I sacrificed who I was so things would work and my kids would not be victims of a broken family.(She has cheated more than once by the way). No matter what I do, she is an evil, emotionally violent, selfish control freak.She even stole from one of my clients and then tried to paint me as the bad guy because I would not go to jail for her. But women have all the rights in this hell hole country (and especially Europe). Women know this and exploit it to their advantage. Why do you think the divorce rate is growing? Remember the first thing women did when they got the right to vote? They outlawed alcohol. Gee that really helped didn’t it?Men are getting fed up with being treated as disposable trash. I used to believe in womens lib. Now I think you women need to be put in your place!!

    2. That’s why men get the shaft in relationships. We don”t need you to fulfill our needs. We can do that ourselves. The only real needs we ask of you are physical. Why cant you do that? Why cant you be accountable for your own happiness? I know why. Because women romanticize monogamy but become bored with their monogamous man. How many women are full of passion during the beginning of the relationship but fizzle at the 1-3 year mark? Every single one I know. He didn’t have to fulfill this long list of needs in the beginning because all you needed was to be with him. What changed? That’s just what I’ve observed.

    3. TheShonky But in the 1 to 3 years that all she needs is to be with him, he becomes less there. She begins to get less of him because he A, B, C…? What happens? Why does he make himself less available? What should she be or have been doing to avoid him wanting to pull away?

    4. How can someone fulfill someone else’s needs if they aren’t fulfilled themselves to begin with?

  7. I still get cautious when I hear stories like this- “filling up” your wife/girlfriend with encouragement etc sounds vaguely like a co-dependent relationship.
    I get it- no one is perfect, no one can live 100% on their own without some external help, but believing that you need to constantly remind your wife about her strengths, her passions, her drive, her happiness sounds like SHE CAN’T DO THIS FOR HERSELF.
    Where’s the balance? To be clear, I get it: Share your great life with the woman you love. I truly hope to have this some day. But like I said, when does it become one person filling the void that the other can’t fill?

    1. J Platter it’s not about codependency, it’s about working as a team and providing support and encouragement for each other. Yes, it’s nice to be with someone completely independent that doesn’t need your help, but bonding happens when you take interest in someone else besides yourself. Selfishness may get you what you want, but it won’t nurture relationships with the people you love.

    2. dropandlongD Same goes for the woman. Why didn’t she support his musical dream and he could have supported her art. Help her get an art show, etc.

  8. so his wife wont let him do what he loves to do the most more than 3 times a month and richards advice is to treat her like a queen and do whatever she wants… lol what a cuck!!!

    1. there are two perspectives. He found the reason why it didn’t work for them. this is a problem in great depth. People are difened by their priorities.
      Do you prioritize Family, this hobby, your wife, husband and dit and dat.

      The difference here is that she wanted to do life together. Whatever she was into she wanted him next to her. He could have brought to the band sometimes, even play with her. She is the one fighting for living together. Dont you see that?

    2. well we really dont know the couple’s situation.. but the way tony richards made it sound to me was that the guy should start worshipping his wife because then she would be happy and that would make the guys life easier.

    3. So, I think you’re right in the short term, on the face of it, but you’re missing all the valuable parts. The thing is that there were two sides to this story and the two sides in the current moment weren’t working. The guy wanted to improve the situation, but what he was doing was only making it worse. His perspective and his wife’s perspective are both valid ways to see the world, because the perspective belongs to them. The analysis Tony went through showed the man that his wife was the one getting the short end of the stick (from her perspective) and her not wanting him in the band was the only tool she had to try to force him to give her the attention she needed. The point wasn’t that he could never play in a band, it was that he had some long overdue maintenance to do on his relationship with his wife if he wanted to save his marriage (which he did). If he paid proper attention to that, made a plan to continue maintenance going forward so she was happy with his effort, he would also be able to enjoy the things he loves. He just had to put it aside for the moment in order to solve a problem he had created by not spending the proper time solidifying his relationship with his wife all along. This wasn’t generalized advice from Tony, it was specific to this situation. He wasn’t saying that all men just need to give up stuff they love and devote all their time to their spouses. A relationship requires two people managing their various needs in order for it to work. If you’re with someone that is more needy than you can afford, you probably shouldn’t be with them. But maybe there’s too much at stake already for that to be a viable option. Maybe both sides have to reevaluate their ideal and change their expectations if they want to make it work. That’s no an ideal situation for both parties to get what they want out of life, but perhaps there is a child involved and both sides are willing to give up some potential personal validation in order to provide the best life for their child.

      Men are less emotional than women and therefore we can tend not to see the value in spending enough time emotionally on someone we care about. There are various needs from both sides that need to be met and that’s not at all an easy thing to figure out between a couple with needs the other doesn’t really relate to in the same way.

    4. Think of it more like an investment. Investments are risky, so you might lose what you invested, but the potential returns also could be astronomical! The plan was to try for 90 days the prescribed medicine, if the issue has still not improved, then probably the marriage was not meant to be, but he can walk away with the confidence that he tried his best. In his case, the investment payed off.

    1. Polly Pockets femonist spotted. Get it through your dense head ole broad. The best musicians don’t let women destroy their passions and talent. The ones happily married have great support systems. Some men need to to solo.

    2. Crash Bandicoot What are you talking about? My other posts are all about how Tonys advice was one-sided and didn’t resolve the issue. All I am saying is that OP is an idiot for saying it’s always the woman’s fault. That’s just an idiotic thing to say. If this dude wants to get divorced and be single, more power to him. If a bunch of musicians want to be single, more power to them. Blaming it on women always is just dumb and it resolves nothing.

    3. Crash Bandicoot And also don’t assume anything about other people, especially based on so little information. I am VERY anti-sjw.

    4. Polly Pockets game isota is definitely trolling. I did get the vibe you were feminist despite your claim of not being one. I’m American and I’m surrounded by so many girls who don’t understand hobbies since they have none so it’s refreshing when other dudes attest to this. However I knew a few chicas who enjoy things guys do so it’s a win win for me.

    5. Crash Bandicoot I am an American as well. I will repeat that I am NOT a feminist just in case you misunderstood. I live in Chicago. Both women and men have many, many hobbies. I write, act, produce, play guitar and enjoy organizing things. On Tuesday, we filmed a movie in my apartment. I am very confused at you telling me that I am a feminist. The evidence in my posts suggests otherwise.

  9. I feel sorry for people stuck in relationships purely because of their children. He is clearly not in a good relationship and if there were not children involved I would suggest he end it. If you have to “save your marriage” it shouldn’t be because you don’t work well together. I don’t think their marriage has been solved and if it has for now, it won’t be soon.

    1. That’s because you live in the modern day life of instant gratification. If you and your kids or parents are having issues do you just end it instead of “solving” the problems? You ever been with someone that you get along great but maybe had a fight and stayed together? Sometimes a person just has to step back and realize their priorities and then solve the problem.

    2. Captain Capellini as a child, you feel love when people do things for you and make you happy… you don’t have to work for it or do anything in return. Adult love is about giving, choosing to show the person that you care about how much you love them. If you can’t stick with someone you CHOSE to marry through the hard times and communicate your needs and desires and issues with that person, you’re not ready for marriage. It’s hard but if you believe that life should become simple when you get married and you won’t have any issues marriage isn’t for you yet.

    3. Captain Capellini i would say gtfo and find another 1. Ntm. Usually tue first child is the best for so many genetic reasons. Even more why he should have found a sweet pair of genes to mix with.

    4. If she is still making you happy despite the moans, stick with her. If she makes you feel miserable every day, then leave is the obvious answer. We obviously aren’t talking about one argument here. If she is really cramping you style and stopping you being the person who you really are, then the worst thing you can do is stay around. Because in 15 years time when you’ve had all the life sucked out of you, and sacrificed everything you loved for her, you will only feel bitter that she held you back from being who you really are. An unfulfilled human being can never be a happy one. If someone truly loves you, then what makes you happy should make them happy also… It cuts both ways, not just in one direction!

    1. Yeah, i see this guy knows a lot, but its flawed were it matters most, If the couple are compatible with each other. If they have nothing in common, have different opinions about things, or just don’t love or like them, it doesn’t work.

    2. It´s always easier to be perceptive when you´re standing *outside* of a situation than when you are in a situation and your ego clouds your judgement. That´s why Robbins can help others but as he is just human he too will experience problems in his own life.

    1. Daniel No, he’s just an idiot. Everyone is different. Every relationship is different. Also, I don’t have to make fun of someone to make a point.

    2. Twila Jones not every guy has to be married. He could still be a cool dude. You shouldn’t attack his character. Learn some class Sheila.

    3. Crash Bandicoot She didn’t say every guy has to be married. What is wrong with your reading comprehension skills? Why are you so paranoid?

    4. Amin Akhmadi She didn’t say he had to be married. The OP implied that based on the video that he is glad he isn’t married. All we are pointing out is that it is stupid to generalize all marriages based on one video of a bad marriage.

  10. For everyone saying ‘why couldn’t he save his own marriage’:

    For the exact same reasons sports coaches can’t play sport, but can train others to play sports.

    1. ProMaxElite His solution was uncreative and illogical in this case. It was also one-sided and formulaic. I could have done better.

    2. O yes, I believe. But wait, couldn’t one of us rent a hall or decorate a garage, fill it with family and friends, and have to 2 willing individual day to the before and after Thing? What evidence would we have that we save some couples marriage in 8 minutes? The nice room filled with people Giving a standing ovation? Not evidence at all, thus were left with 2 possibility’s that will come up, the couple testimony- maybe their in social media so we can look them up, Let’s say the former proved that they are actually married? That is still not proof that they Were saved by him. They could have been paid actors ( of course this would pass the burden to me). Still not proof, lastly is taken tony Robbin as the proof because it’s him and because he told us so. Not proof just word of mouth. Cons

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